


xii. i think i've broken something

by tempestaurora



Series: the kids aren't alright [whumptober 2020] [12]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Allison Remembers Her Childhood Earlier, Alternate Universe, Gen, Pre-Canon, Teen for language, Whumptober
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:00:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26971021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tempestaurora/pseuds/tempestaurora
Summary: Allison didn’t come back to New York on purpose. She never came back to see home, or family, or have a vacation. She only ever ended up there by unfortunate chance – if it were up to her, she’d never step foot in the state again. Not when everything reminded her of the past.But today, she had to be there.She had to come back to New York because she’d remembered, and that meant the guilt was eating her alive.OR: Before canon, Allison remembers rumouring Vanya and decides to tell her about it. She doesn't actually know where Vanya lives, though, and needs a little help from Diego.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Diego Hargreeves, Allison Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves
Series: the kids aren't alright [whumptober 2020] [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1930186
Comments: 37
Kudos: 190





	xii. i think i've broken something

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Broken Trust

Allison didn’t come back to New York on purpose. She never came back to see home, or family, or have a vacation. She only ever ended up there by unfortunate chance – if it were up to her, she’d never step foot in the state again. Not when everything reminded her of the past.

But today, she had to be there.

She had to come back to New York because she’d _remembered,_ and that meant the guilt was eating her alive.

With Claire and Patrick back home in L.A., she wandered the painfully familiar streets of New York alone. Somehow, she felt anonymous here, though she knew someone would eventually recognise her and the whole feeling of safety would dissolve. That was something she’d loved as a kid: being spotted on the street, being asked to take photos – she’d loved interviews and photoshoots, but now, as an adult, it was suffocating.

She was famous for first having superpowers and then for being an Emmy award-winning actress, and sometimes she thought people forgot one or the other. The Hollywood press didn’t care about her ability to mind-control, just who she was dating or what she was wearing, and likewise, the people in New York couldn’t give a shit that she had just signed onto another major motion picture—she was just that girl in the school uniform who wore a domino mask and rumoured criminals into shooting themselves in the foot.

Allison also didn’t know how to contact most of her siblings.

Luther was up on the moon and the last time she’d seen Diego was when he flew out for Claire’s birth, before leaving a few days later. Klaus was as flaky as they came and probably didn’t even _own_ a phone, and Vanya—Vanya didn’t want to talk to Allison. Which made the whole _Allison really needed to talk to Vanya_ thing a lot more difficult.

It meant that, really, Diego was her only shot. She didn’t know where he lived, but she had a phone number and that was good enough for her.

_“Al’s Gym, Al speaking_ ,” Al said when he picked up. Diego still didn’t have his own phone, which annoyed Allison to no extent.

“Hi Al, it’s Allison Hargreeves – is my brother Diego there?”

He sighed a long-suffering kind of sigh and said _, “One minute—DIEGO! It’s your sister!”_

Allison could hear a distant _which one?_ down the line.

_“The rich one! The freaky mind control lady.”_

There was a long pause before the phone changed hands.

_“Allison,”_ Diego said.

“Diego! Just the brother I was hoping to talk to!”

_“What do you want?”_

“I’m in New York—”

_“Why?”_

“—I need to talk to Vanya, but I don’t have her number or her address.”

_“And you think I do?”_

Allison shrugged, but he couldn’t see that. “You live here, you’re sorta kinda partly ex-police. You’re my only shot.”

_“What about Klaus?”_ he asked. Allison snorted. _“Yeah, okay, that’s fair. Look—I’m working right now, but… come by the gym in like an hour. I don’t have her number or anything, but I know where she works and I’ll take you over.”_

“Oh, you’re the best.”

_“That’s the first time you’ve ever said that about anyone who’s not yourself.”_

“Alright, go fuck yourself. I’ll see you in an hour.”

*

“No Claire?” Diego asked as he shrugged on a bomber jacket and nodded her towards the front door of Al’s Gym.

Allison hummed. “Back in L.A. with Patrick. Decided this was best done alone, I guess.”

Diego nodded. “You didn’t want her and Patrick to have to meet Vanya if you could avoid it.”

Allison twisted up her face. She knew it wasn’t _fair_ , especially as she came here with the intent to make amends, but she didn’t want her new life to get in the way of the inevitable anger of her old one – especially if what she was going to tell her was true. She couldn’t let Claire get in the way of that.

“How’s work?” Allison asked to change the subject, and Diego shrugged, answering blandly about cleaning the gym. When they were kids, Allison and Diego hadn’t been _close_ – Diego’s closest friend was certainly their mother – but they had been in a _team._ Not the Umbrella Academy, though that was a team of its own, but the lower numbers; One, Two and Three had always been a clique, no matter how much they fought.

It was probably why Diego was the only one who travelled across the country to be there for Claire’s birth. _And_ why he was the only one who showed up to her wedding.

She’d invited them all, more because it was a PR nightmare if she didn’t than her actually wanting them there – but Luther was clearly still hung up on whatever flirtation they had as twelve years olds who had never met anyone else their own age, and Vanya was still different and separate and Klaus was— _Klaus._ She didn’t even know where to send his invite, so she sent Klaus’ to Diego’s place, who informed her that he managed to pass it along to someone who knew someone who knew Klaus – that was the closest he could get to actually finding their brother.

But One, Two and Three were supposedly a team, even if they weren’t actually great at getting along.

“So, where’s this place Vanya works?” she asked as Diego led them across a busy street, not bothering to wait for the traffic lights. She raced to keep up with him and kept her head pointed forward when she spotted the first flash of a camera phone. Tomorrow’s headline was already written: _Two and Three Back Together Again!_

“She’s in an orchestra,” Diego said, clearly noticing the camera. He was like that, she supposed, in tune to everything around him. She watched him catalogue it and decide to look away. “They rehearse at the Icarus Theatre.”

“How’d you know that?”

“Saw her once when I was on patrol—”

“You’re still doing the vigilante thing?”

“Sure am. Just because there’s no super villains anymore doesn’t mean there’s not regular people who need protecting. Anyway, I spotted her one night and followed her to the theatre. Sneaked in, watched some of the performance.”

“Any good?”

“Better than I remembered,” he admitted, then looked uncomfortable with that fact. “Violin was kinda her thing, huh?”

“Well, she didn’t have anything else,” Allison replied, feeling the guilt pool in her stomach.

“Weird coincidence, don’t you think?”

“What is?”

“That out of however many children were born with powers,” Diego said, “the old man could only find seven, and one of those seven had no powers at all.” He pulled a face. “Do you ever think Vanya’s birth mother just faked the whole _suddenly pregnant when I wasn’t this morning thing?_ Maybe she saw it on the news, or just didn’t actually know she was pregnant and thought it was a good way out of the problem? And Dad just… fell for it?”

Allison sighed. “I used to as a kid,” she admitted. Luther had thrown around the idea, too. “But I think there’s more to it than that.” Diego looked over with raised eyebrows but she didn’t elaborate. She’d feel even worse if she told _Diego_ before she told Vanya.

He led her to the theatre and the two of them entered through the front. The sound of classical music washed over them, distant and muted. Together, they followed the corridors to the auditorium, and slipped into the darkness. On the stage, flooded with light, was a full orchestra, playing a long and complicated piece. It was beautiful, really, and Allison gestured Diego over to the back row of seats, where they sat and watched the rehearsal.

Occasionally, the musicians stopped, talked and received direction, before starting up again. They watched Vanya all the while, locating her quickly towards the left-hand side of the stage.

“How long does rehearsal last?” Allison asked eventually. She felt strangely overcome with sadness just watching. It was intricate and beautiful, but it wasn’t where Vanya belonged – or where she was _supposed_ to belong. And that made Allison’s heart ache, because _she’d_ done this to her sister – _she’d_ thrust her into this life.

“Couple hours usually,” Diego replied. “I’m not sure when they started, though.”

“I spotted a coffee house across the road,” Allison whispered as the music broke off. “Wanna get a drink and watch the door?”

Diego seemed to consider it before shrugging with agreement, and the two of them climbed out of their seats to sneak back out the door. Allison couldn’t help looking back, though, and found Vanya’s face, turned towards them, watching.

*

It was over an hour later that Vanya left the theatre. In that time, Diego and Allison had sat at the outdoor seating of the coffee house and waited, chatting about Claire and work and Diego’s on again-off again girlfriend, Eudora. She suggested getting a job as a firefighter, if he was _really_ interested in helping people (and _really_ wanted to get out of that gym basement), and maybe just teaching martial arts if it was fighting that he wanted to do.

Then Vanya left the theatre and stopped dead in her tracks on the other side of the street. She’d spotted them.

Allison felt nerves swirl around her stomach as her sister seemed to contemplate walking away. But then she started across the road, her violin case slung over her shoulder, and approached them.

“I thought I saw you two skulking around the auditorium,” she said.

“We saved you a chair,” Diego replied.

Vanya considered it before sitting gingerly on the edge of it. “I didn’t know you were on this coast,” she said to Allison.

“Got here this morning.”

“New movie?”

“No—oh, well, yes, but not for a few more months, and it’s up in Canada, but no—that’s not why I’m here.”

Vanya and Diego waited with pointed expressions. Allison took a breath.

“I came to see you,” she admitted. “I need to—to tell you something, and it’s not… not _good._ It’s actually pretty fucking awful.”

Vanya’s brows knitted together. “… Right.”

“Um.” Allison looked over her shoulder; they were alone for now, but she didn’t like the idea of people listening in. Of the possibility of her words showing up on some Buzzfeed article the next day. “Sorry, could we do this somewhere more… private?”

Vanya hesitated, then nodded. “Okay. Um, alright. My place is like ten minutes from here—”

“Yes, that would be excellent.”

*

Vanya’s place was small and thin. It was dark and the lights didn’t shed much over her bare possessions – it was definitely more than she decorated as a child, but still felt bland, unwelcoming. At least there were chunky blankets on the couch and a large collection of books on the shelves. But there were no photos, no signs of other people. Had she had a partner in her years since the Academy? Had she made friends?

She noted Vanya taking a pill as Allison settled onto the couch and had to stop herself from wincing.

“Coffee?” she asked. Allison and Diego both nodded yes, and Allison first watched her sister find clean mugs and then her brother snoop around.

“You know,” Vanya said, loud enough that Diego would hear her, “if you told me what you were looking for, I could help you find it.”

Diego pressed his lips together in a thin line and joined Allison on the couch.

“So, what’s the big fucking awful thing you need to tell me?” Vanya asked when she’d made the coffees. She settled on the armchair opposite.

“Um. Well. It’s a bit—a bit unbelievable,” Allison started. She tapped her nails against the mug and then placed it on the coffee table so she wouldn’t spill it with her twitching. “Recently, I had this dream. It was… strange, and I was young in it. A child again. And there was this, this long concrete hallway with a big metal… _box,_ I guess, at the end of it.” She felt Vanya and Diego’s eyes boring into her and cleared her throat. “When I woke up, I struggled all day to work out why it was so familiar, and then it hit me. It was a memory, a little off, but a memory all the same.”

“A concrete hall with a metal box,” Diego said.

“Yeah—very big. Big enough to hold people,” Allison replied. “And I remembered where I’d seen it before – it’s underneath the house.”

Diego scoffed into his mug but said nothing. Vanya pulled a face. “There’s a—a _bunker_ under the house?”

“Bunkers are meant to keep people safe _inside,_ ” Allison said. “I think this thing was meant to keep people on the _outside_ safe. God, I know it’s—it’s a bit far-fetched, but it’s true. And then I remembered _why_ I went down there. Dad took me. I was really, really small, and Dad took me down there to talk to you.”

“To me,” Vanya said.

“You were being kept down there at the time.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Are you alright?”

“What? Yes, I’m fine—listen. Dad took me down there and made me rumour you.” This got her attention. When Allison was thirteen, her siblings had finally banded together and told her to stop rumouring them whenever she wanted something. Rumouring was too powerful and it stripped people of their free will – at least, that’s what they told her.

Allison still used it occasionally. She’d used it freely to get the roles she desperately wanted when she was starting up as an actress; she’d used it to get Patrick to go on that first date with her, and she occasionally used it on Claire to stop her tantrums or make her go to sleep. It felt different, using it on her daughter, more than on anyone else. Felt _wrong._ Felt illicit. Felt like something she could never tell another soul about.

She continued, “You were inside the metal box on a hospital bed. I think Dad told us you were sick and had to be kept away from the rest of us—”

“Oh, I remember that,” Diego said. “When we were really little.”

“Yeah, that’s when I started taking my pills,” Vanya agreed.

“Do you remember the box?”

She pulled a face. “I don’t think so.”

“Okay, okay. Well, there was one, and that’s where you were kept. And Dad made me rumour you – I think the words were _that you think you’re just ordinary._ ”

Vanya blinked. “Excuse me?”

Allison took a deep breath. “I rumoured you into thinking you’re just ordinary.”

“As if—as if I was _more_ than that?” Vanya asked. “I _am_ ordinary, Allison. You know that. You all—you’re not! You’re strong and powerful and you can throw knives _really_ well! I’m ordinary. I’m _normal_ – I made my peace with that, I don’t unders—”

“Maybe you’re _not_ ordinary!” Allison interrupted. “Maybe you’re _more than that._ Maybe I rumoured you into forgetting.”

“Forgetting what? My _self fucking worth?_ ” Vanya cried.

“Forgetting that you’re special!” Allison yelled back, pushing herself out of her chair. “Forgetting that you have powers!”

There was silence, then Vanya scoffed and Diego stood up, rolling his eyes and waving a hand as he headed for the door.

“God, Ally,” Diego said. “I thought you wanted to, like, apologise to her for all the shit we put her through as kids. Why are you still like this?”

“Still like what?”

“Messing with her!” he cried. “Messing with her head! Pulling your manipulative little pranks on her! They were fun and games when we were kids, but holy shit, Allison! We’re twenty-fucking-six! We’re too old to be doing this! I didn’t help you find her so you could make fun of her!”

“I’m not making fun of her! I’m telling the truth! Dad made me rumour her into forgetting she had powers, and when she came back she was always taking those pills, and—”

“You think my _anxiety medication_ is suppressing powers?” Vanya asked, disbelieving. There was hurt painted all over her face. This was why Allison didn’t want to do this in public. “I have anxiety because I was raised in a household of superheroes and isolated from all of them! I was forgotten and left behind and _ordinary,_ Allison!”

“I _remember_ your powers!” Allison replied, her voice loud and desperate. “I remember you breaking things and having sessions with Dad! All the nannies! Don’t you remember the nannies?”

“What nannies?” Vanya yelled back.

“The ones before Mom!”

“Mom’s _always_ been our Mom!”

“ _No!_ There were more and you _killed them all_ with your powers! I saw the goddamn bodies, Vanya! So he made you forget and he made me rumour you and then gave us a Mom who couldn’t fucking _die!”_

Silence stretched heavy between them all; Vanya standing on one side of the living room, Allison on the other, Diego with his fingers on the door handle, so close to walking out and not coming back. Allison had thought at great length about what words to use in this conversation, but she hadn’t said any of them. She’d said everything in the worst possible way and now there was no taking them back.

Allison thought she’d learned that lesson a thousand times already – what was once more?

Diego shattered the quiet. He dropped his hand from the door. “Mom wasn’t our first caretaker,” he said. “I remember the day she showed up, so I know there were ones before her.”

“That doesn’t mean—doesn’t mean I _killed them_ ,” Vanya bit out.

“But you did,” Allison said, soft. “When we were kids, none of us could control our powers properly. Do you remember Ben and the monster? He was dangerous – but Dad knew how to… to manage him, I guess.”

“You think he couldn’t _manage_ me?”

“Yeah, I do. I think he was scared of you because you killed our nannies, and instead of being patient with you, he put you on those pills and made you forget you ever had powers in the first place.”

“Wouldn’t _we_ remember?” Diego asked.

“He told us she was sick,” Allison replied simply. “And after enough repetitions, I bet it overwrote our memories of her powers. We were only little. I remembered so little of that time before that dream.”

Vanya slumped back down into her chair. “I don’t believe you,” she said. “It’s a nice fantasy, that I’ve had powers all along – but I know I don’t.”

“Then let me remind you,” Allison said.

“Hey, hey,” Diego interrupted, stepping over to her. “If you use the wrong words you’ll make her believe she has them even if she doesn’t.”

“Then I won’t use the wrong words,” Allison replied. “I’m _good_ at this now. Please, Vanya – you’ve gotta let me right what I made wrong.”

Vanya thought it over for long enough that her siblings sat back down again and started twitching in nervous patience.

“Fine,” she agreed at last, “but Diego has to keep you honest. I don’t want you messing with my head more than you have to.”

“Sure, sure,” Allison agreed. She’d already thought about the words on the plane ride, and turned to Diego to suggest them, leaving out the all important _I heard a rumour_ from the words. Diego hesitated before nodding, and looking to Vanya.

“You don’t have to let her do this.”

“I know. But then it’ll be over with and we’ll know for sure that I don’t have powers like the rest of you.”

Allison sat forward, so Vanya copied her actions.

“I heard a rumour that you know how extraordinary you really are.”

Vanya’s eyes glazed over white and she sucked in a sharp breath. Her eyes cleared as she blinked.

“Well?” Diego asked.

Vanya peered down at her hands, the fingers all calloused from years of violin. She swallowed and looked back over at her siblings. “I feel weird,” she admitted.

“That’s possibly the return of your sense of worth,” Allison replied. “What about your powers?”

“I don’t—I’m not sure. I just feel _odd._ ”

“In a bad way?”

“In a—like there’s a weight on my chest kind of way,” she said. “It’s not anxiety, but it’s—I don’t know what it is.”

“She took one of those pills when we came in,” Diego said. “We won’t know about the powers until they’ve gone through her system.”

“Well, what do we do in the meantime?” Vanya asked.

*

They watched a movie, and then another. Then they ordered dinner, the three of them strewn around her living room as some action movie played on the television. It was—strange, being with them both again. The years slowly melted away, the tension dissipating into the air. Vanya asked several questions when the plot confused her, and Diego pointed out every inaccuracy in the action sequences. At her siblings behest, Allison told them if she knew any gossip about the A-listers on screen, and they ate Chinese food straight from the cartons, and drank the beers Vanya kept in the fridge.

And then, Vanya laughed at a joke on screen and above them, the lights jingled as they tapped against each other.

The three of them looked up and then at each other.

Diego asked, “Are you still ticklish?”

“No,” Vanya replied immediately, then had the good sense to leap up from her spot on the couch and dash to the other end, just as Diego reached for her. She laughed again, filling Allison with some strange peace – she hadn’t heard that sound in so long. Diego downed the rest of his beer and stood up. “Get away from me,” Vanya warned, pointing a finger. “I know karate.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Sure, but I can scream _really loud_ if I want to.”

Diego cracked a tipsy grin and started forward, as Vanya yelped and ran back behind the couch. Allison cackled, lifting her feet out of the way and moving onto her knees to watch Diego chase her. At her laughing, panicked screams, the lights swung again, the glass lampshades bumping into each other as the paintings on the wall shook faintly.

Her smile grew wider, watching it all; the mugs shaking on the coasters, the fork on the counter, the books on the shelves. Everything came alive with Vanya’s laughter; she placed the kitchen table between her and Diego, but he was fast enough to dash around it and catch her before she could run away.

As Vanya protested, Diego hefted her up, before carrying her back over to the sofa and dumping her unceremoniously on the cushions. Vanya laughed still, and her apartment laughed with her.

“You were right,” Diego said. “She has powers.”

Vanya shook her head, grinning. “You know, I’m gonna have to deal with a lot of trauma tomorrow about my father doping me up to hide my abilities.”

Allison smiled down at her. “That’s tomorrow,” she said. “For today, do you wanna watch another movie?”

**Author's Note:**

> i have feelings about the cliques within the umbrella academy and how they might translate over the 20 years we don't get to see. like how luther probably didn't go to allison's wedding, but diego might've, because Famous Allison Hargreeves can't just not invite her own siblings to her wedding, and eudora was probably dating diego at the time and thought it'd be good for him to go, and somehow he had an Okay enough time (at the wedding itself and that one evening beforehand when he and allison drank their weight in whiskey and reminisced) that he even returns to LA for claire's birth. and how klaus probably floated between the two groups of upper and lower numbers, though got along with allison well but just became entirely impossible to find at some point in his twenties. anyway i have feelings
> 
> please talk to me in the comments or on [tumblr](tempestaurora.tumblr.com)
> 
> tomorrow's about my favourite couple, diego and eudora


End file.
